Did you ever hear someone up in years when they were looking for something? They might say "I'm huntin' my glasses," or "I'm on a hunt...". Well, this morning I am on a hunt. I'm hunting for God. Not just hoping to see Him today. Not just wishing to experience Him. I'm hunting Him.
I don't just want to hear it
I want to feel it too
It's less like I'm trying
It's more like I'm dying to know You.
I've 'known' God for years. Served Him just as long. But recently I learned what it's like to really have fellowship with Him. Since that happened, I'm never satisfied with my old way of doing things.
Old streets don't lead back where they used to
We blaze new trails to ancient places
I still love You just like I used to
But this love won't fit spreadsheets
Being a creature of habit, I need to remind myself that my old ways of "relationship" are not valid options for me. I used to try to work God like He was a formula. How sad that must be for Him. How sad that was for me. My old ways? They were ways of working to earn a sense of fulfillment and satisfaction instead of being fulfilled in Him. Yeah, they were those ways of waking up and not acknowledging Him. That is, until I needed something. My old ways were going about my day and if something happened that touched me in a meaningful way it was just extra. Like icing on a cake. Well, now that I've had icing I don't want plain cake anymore.
The last few days, I've been eatin' plain old sponge cake and I'm not happy about it at all. I don't know exactly how to go about getting back that feeling that I want. (Yes, fellow Baptists---feeling---it's not a bad word!) So I looked in my head for Scripture this morning to see what I know about looking for God and getting close to Him. I came up with: "Draw nigh to God and He will draw nigh to you" and "Seek ye the Lord while He may be found." Both begin with me. So I will begin with something pretty simple. I will start looking for him. My day then will begin with a cry to Him, telling Him just how much I long for His presence.
I'm dying to swim in Your sea
I'm dying to taste and see
I'm dying in all that I do
So come to me 'cause I can't get to You*
I'm dying to taste and see
I'm dying in all that I do
So come to me 'cause I can't get to You*
*words in italics are lyrics from "Dying to Know You" by the band downhere.
(Leave me a comment...Let me know your thoughts on seeking God and relationship with Him. Have you ever felt Him? Is it a priority to feel Him everyday? How do you feel about iced cake versus plain?)
I don't know why this happens. It happens to me too. I often notice that when I find myself eating plain old cake, it's at times when I've instigated a disconnection. Maybe I've fallen away from my daily quiet times with Him. It's when I've overload my cake platter and I choose to take the 20 minutes I'd normally spend with Him to write a blog or finish a short story becuase I feel like I'm falling behind. Then I realize, I'm falling behind because I'm leaving God out. Then I ice up my cake and all is good again. Eventually, I'll start to slip away again, but God always pulls me back.
ReplyDeleteIt reminds me of the song, "Come Thou Fount" where it says:
Prone to wander, Lord I feel it
Prone to leave the God I love
I'm constantly asking God to seal my heart so I can't wander too far. Now I can say, "give me icing" too.
Great blog, Hope.
Thanks Karen for your thoughts and kind compliment. I really enjoy your blog and getting to know you through your writing.
ReplyDeleteTo anyone else who reads this blog here: There has been a little bit of discussion about this post on facebook. One of the readers reminded me to remember to primarily remember that it is not the "icing" we should be after, but the Giver of it....the 'Baker' as he put it. This is so true and something I often forget.
So often we want the benefits of God, and not God the person. In all of ife's fight and struggles, in the end, He will be our prize. Not our crown. Not our accomplishments or how we felt along the way. him. And the good news is that we can have that prize now.
I guess I first started thinking about his when I read a blog by Mike Donehey of Tenth Avenue North. I'm posting the links to it. He introduces the though in the first one, concluding "Don't live FOR God...Live BECAUSE God." Then you should read the post that follows by that title, where he explains that idea. It is well worth the read!
http://tenthavenuenorth.com/blog/2009/02/03/chapter-6-break-me-down/
http://tenthavenuenorth.com/blog/2009/02/28/dont-live-for-god-chapter-6-continued/