Oops I thought it again!

It happened again. I just caught myself thinking it. It’s still a little bit of an unfamiliar thought for me, so whenever I have it I always stop and reflect. I usually want to share it with someone. I like to nudge whoever is next to me, smile and say in a low voice, “Tomorrow is Sunday! We get to go to church!”

What a change that has been for me over the last few months. There was a time in my life when Sundays were my least favorite day. I dreaded weekends. While the rest of the world was cheering them on, I was left muttering, “You mean it’s here again already?”

We could explore the many why’s of my hating the day: Was it the people you were with every Sunday? Was it the preaching at the church you were at? Was it that you were overworked? Man, I’d sure like to say it was any of those answers. But the truth of it, Sunday had just become a day of performance for me.

No one required it. Sure, I felt some pressure, but I didn’t have to give in. Nope, it was mainly self-induced, much of it brought on by my tendency to offer my services to appease a perfect God. I ignored Him every day and especially on Sunday when I had to take over because I had no time to chat with Him if I was going to get His work done. On Sunday, I also needed to put on an act, so that people would see a “good example” to follow and not a human one. Again, He never asked me to do that. In fact, I have noticed that as a follower, I learn a lot from imperfect individuals who claim their shortcomings and rely on God to make up the difference.

Sundays used to be the culmination of all I lived for. Everything from our family vacation calendar to what clothes I bought were strategically planned because of what took place on Sundays. So services had better have been good. After all, they were the only means we had of judging ‘how we were doing.’ Sunday’s were the test. And so, whether God cared about the results or not, I did. And maybe that was just one more thing to feel guilty about. Sorry, God, to make up for my not caring how You feel, how about I work a little harder and make next Sunday even better? What? You want me to spend time with You? You know nobody really does that.

But now I have found that people do. People do really spend time with Him. People really do fall head over heels in worship of Him. People really do commune with Him every day of their lives, including Sundays.

I have found a wonderful place to spend my Sundays with Him. Yes, there are a lot of people here who are doing it right. They are here because they want to spend time with Him, and their service is sincere. Less emphasis is placed on performance as was expected in the old environment I helped to create for myself and others. More seeking Him and less flailing to please Him goes on here. Here, my heart sings out in beautiful worship with the very spirit of others seekers of Him and failures in life, like me. And it all happens in a setting of uncompromising preaching that shores me up and convicts my heart every time I go.

But it’s not so much the transplant of location that has changed Sundays for me, as much as it has been a change of my own heart. On Sunday, I am there for Him. Not for myself. Not for other people. Not for the work. But for Him. I am thankful to the Lord of the day for allowing me to enter His house tomorrow with awe, gratitude and relief to be there. I truly can say every week that it has been good to be in the house of the Lord.

O come let us worship together!

Psstt---Guess what!!! Tomorrow is Sunday! We get to go to church!