Recently I was cornered on a facebook status to clarify my religious stance. I wasn’t quite ready to do so, but what the heck. I own it. I’m an atheist. Yep. The whole, “no god” thing. That’s me.
I’ve gotten quite a few responses to that revelation. Some public, some private. Some were supportive. Others leery or concerned. I have been encouraged by more than one person to write about my journey. I have chosen to do that by answering Frequently Asked Questions, addressing Common Misconceptions and exploring Friendly Advice/Exhortations. The first in this series will be from the “exhortations” category. I have been encouraged to:
“Read the Bible.”
Ok...whew. Read the Bible? Really? Ok, maybe you really don’t know my background, so we will start there.
Ok. Ahem. Allow me to introduce myself. I was practically born in church. At two years of age, I could recite the Books of the Old and New Testament and retell Bible Stories. I attended a Christian school from the age of three. I ‘received Christ’ at age 4, and began witnessing immediately. At 6, I was too shy to speak directly, so I recorded a music box song of “Jesus Loves the Little Children” onto my cassette recorder and took an illustrated Bible along with homemade flashcards of verses to display as the music played. I would then lead my playmates in prayer. My school taught the Bible in EVERY subject to the neglect of actual studies. I have memorized many, many psalms, large portions of Genesis and Proverbs, and Paul’s writings, countless individual verses, as well as the entire books of Ephesians, Philemon, James, 1st, 2nd & 3rd John, & Jude. I can explain any doctrine to you and can talk infinitely about God’s grace and His sovereignty and if you’d like, I can even contrast those two points of His character or conversely explain how they can coexist. I can give you a “promise of God” for every trial and a word from the Scripture for any question you have. I CAN BEAT YOU AT BIBLE TRIVIA AND SWORD DRILLS, suckas! :) Through my studies and education, I understand that the word of God is infallible and useful for all things, that God’s ways are not for us to understand, and that faith in spite of evidence is our high calling. I KNOW the Bible. Your exhortation to me to ‘search the Scriptures’ is dismissive, implying that if I only KNEW the Bible, I wouldn’t disbelieve now. Try to grasp it that I do know the Bible and am still an atheist. I know it’s hard to do. I must be doing something wrong....maybe I was never really saved so I don’t really have the Holy Spirit to guide me in understanding (if the Gospel be hidden, it is hid to them that are lost), or maybe I’ve ventured so far into sin that I can’t see the truth (‘having their conscience seared’, or “given over to a reprobate mind’). But what if none are those things are true?
What if I really was all the things I claimed all these years, and now, quite rationally, have come to this place? What then? Can you take a moment to fathom that? Because if you can’t do that, you are discounting all I’ve ever been or claimed to be. I’m here to say today that my character has not changed. If you knew me to be sensitive to do what is right...I still am. You knew me to be quick to forgive and ask forgiveness...I am still that person. You knew me to be honest...I have retained that honesty. And now, on top of all of what you already knew about me, I am living that way, not out of hope for an eternal reward, but because I want to be able to live with myself. I ask myself who I want to be and then I am that person. Twice last week I was overpaid. Once at the bank and once at work. I did what I would have always done with the money. I returned it. But it wasn’t for fear of displeasing a higher power, or because I needed to be a good testimony, or for a reward I might gain in Heaven. It was because I know what kind of person I want Hope Williams to be.
Is it possible for me to know the Bible and not believe? I submit to you that I do. And please tell me, at what point do I get to quit searching the Bible for answers? Another year? It’s been 38. I hear you. You’re telling me that I should NEVER give up. Keep plowing through the Book. Keep looking. Seek ye the Lord. As I continue to find answers outside my faith, at what point does it become obvious that the only reason I would continue to search the Bible would be to desperately hold on to something I can no longer accept? If I must force that belief, why? Would it be so wrong to step back and examine the desperation, that drives us to cling to the illogical? At what point are we totally closing our eyes to all that makes sense in the world so that we can continue to believe in a fairy tale?
Read the Bible. Hmmm. How about I read something else now?
Hope this comment is directed more to your critics than to you. Just sayin.
ReplyDeleteFor those of you who may be feeling sorry for Hope’s disbelief let me just say this, I think Hope is just as close if not closer to the truth than most modern "Christians" are. At least she had the good sense to admit her belief was false. The statement Hope used earlier on FB saying she has always struggled with believing but felt she MUST; is a GIANT leap toward discovering real truth and I personally wish more "Christians" would admit this. How many people sit in church or synagogue or mosque and listen to a preacher or Rabi or Cleric tell them what they should believe about God and then never question it? That’s how buildings get blown up and people get shot. It doesn’t matter if you are listening to a religious leader, political leader or scientist if you never question it, how do you really know the truth. Okay all you people saying just read more Bible, the Bible says you are to judge people by their fruit. It is not saying condemn them and execute justice based on their actions, it is saying before you believe what they say or do see if it is true or false. Check it out. Does it line up with what God has revealed to you personally? Does what they’re saying make sense or does it defy logic. If it defies logic, dig deeper. If you struggle to find the answer in the bible because you don’t really ever read and study or worse yet it is not in the bible, ask God for the wisdom or revelation. It is okay to ask. See James 1:5
If you’re a Christian reading this thread I have a challenge for you. What is the Word of God? Is it the King James Bible? Even the Bible itself says in the beginning was the Word and the Word was with God and the Word was God. I know John was referring to Jesus right? I had a preacher tell me one time that the King James Bible was Jesus. Really, the King James Bible. So if that is true I should really put it in a high place and pray in the name of the King James Bible. Nowhere in the scripture does the Bible even make that claim. So no it’s not. It doesn’t make sense. That statement defies logic and as I said, cannot be backed up even with the bible itself. Notice I didn’t say the Bible was wrong or fallible. I believe the scripture is true but the revelation a pastor gives or that I give is not. Do I understand all the scripture or can I prove it? No not yet. It is the same with atheist and Science. There are things they don’t understand and can’t prove. They can hypothesis and believe based on what they have witness in other tests that would cause them to have faith in their hypothesis. I am telling you God is BIGGER than you Bible. He doesn’t fit on your coffee table. So my challenge to you is this, research where the King James Bible came from. I’ll give you a little taste. When Paul said the Word of God was infallible he didn’t have a copy of the King James Bible in his hand. The Greeks that Paul was leading didn't even have the Jewish Torah. Yet he spoke to them about the word of God. Hmmm.
Don’t just blindly believe what your Pastor says or what some celebrity says about God. If you have questions don’t just say, “Well I guess I just got to use blind faith” Blindness is for justice. Faith in God is putting your trust in God, Relying on God based on what He has done in your life and letting His FAITHFULNESS prove Himself out for you personally again. I said personally that means you have had to meet him personally. Once you have met him the only way you can deny him is to decide you are or were at least for a moment insane. If you have never done that and have only said you believe because you felt you MUST then you are no different than every atheist I've ever known. And all you have left is a choice to either believe what "Christians” say or what “non- Christians” say or what you personally think about God. And to my original point all have their own personal agenda they are pushing and it is not God's.
Hope's Brousin,
Brad
Hope - I love ya, but I don't get it... probably never will. But, that's the great thing about God - you get to decide.
ReplyDelete[and if it's OK - I'll hang on to the knowledge of that profession of faith! ;)]
Brad - great response!
Yeah, that "Once saved, Always saved" thing comes in real handy right now, huh. Sure hope that's true! (jk)
ReplyDeleteAgreed. I too have learned over the course of a year or so that western religion is... for lack of a better word, religion.
ReplyDeleteI have to say, I'm glad you're on the path to self-discovery...but based on your pics you're starting to look like a meth-head. Get your shit together girl....then try again.
ReplyDeleteI was thinking about you today. Wondering how you were. I have fond memories of you and always thought you were an amazing person. I understand the struggles you talk about in your blog with your family and the restrictions. I knew you well in HS (though I went to a different school) and saw them first hand. I have my own struggles and in some ways they are similar to yours, but for different reasons. It is obvious you are searching and probably hurting. So anyway, I just want to say I hope you are happy and find what you seek. That joy fills your day and rest fills your soul. But whatever happens and whatever has happened in your life. Someone here on earth thinks you are pretty awesome. One of my biggest regrets is that we did not remain close.
ReplyDeleteMR.E.
I wish I knew who you are. I don't know many people that I didn't go to highschool with.
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