Thirsty

There’s a part of me that wakes up unsatisfied each day.  It’s the same part that always wants more.  It’s the part that is lonely.  It’s the part that hurts.  It’s the part of me that feels like something is missing.

And so I go throughout my day throwing things at it.  I entertain myself, buy something, call friends who will pour encouraging words into me and shore me up.  I try to fill it with ambitious plans and busyness.  And when I can’t fill it, I want to crawl into the cave of my despair, where I will sleep, cry, or wonder when it will all end.

It’s a bottomless pit.  A vessel that cannot be filled.  It is the part of me that needs God.  And it is every part of me.  My whole body cries out with longing, with discontent.  I am a huge open space that screams, “Empty!  Empty!”  I cannot drink enough of Him to fill me up.

As the deer panteth for the water so my soul longeth after You.  You, Oh Lord are my soul’s desire and I long to worship you.